CWCSonichu: Hey, Vivian. How are you?
CWCSonichu returned at 11:23:03 AM.
VIVItheG: I want to make sure however, this is the actual Chris.
CWCSonichu: I've been working on the deviantART page.
VIVItheG: There have been so many fakes recently.
VIVItheG: That I've tried to get into contact with
VIVItheG: only to be trolled
CWCSonichu: if you have a question to ask me that can confirm me to you; fire away.
VIVItheG: well I don't know anything the real chris would know
CWCSonichu: Also, I know that I did send you a few e-mails about the deviantART page, and asking you if I can add yours, as long as I quote you, from my ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com account.
VIVItheG: oh okay
VIVItheG: that works.
CWCSonichu: good.
CWCSonichu: did you read the e-mails?
VIVItheG: yes
CWCSonichu: good.
VIVItheG: do you believe panda is a troll now?
CWCSonichu: I'm on the CWCSonichu AIM only, to wait for Megan to reveal her real self to me.
CWCSonichu: not yet.
VIVItheG: what, real self?
CWCSonichu: you see, an impostor likely has hacked into her old yahoo e-mail account, and has been sending me e-mails; I can tell in the messages of those e-mails that they were coming from the impostor.
CWCSonichu: I know that Megan may still have her AIM account name, so I'm waiting to talk to her through there, so I can update her on the recent events for real, if possible.
VIVItheG: Chris...I...I don't know what to say
CWCSonichu: it's alright.
VIVItheG: Didn't megan make herself clear that she wanted to stop talking to you?
VIVItheG: I'm only going by what those e-mails said
VIVItheG: but i have no idea what happened in real life
VIVItheG: so other things could have happened
CWCSonichu: I've actually talked to her through the AIM a few weeks ago; it's all okay between her and me as just friends now. :-)
CWCSonichu: damn those bullies to twist things in the e-mails out of proportion.
VIVItheG: Well, they weren't really twisted
VIVItheG: They were just the raw e-mails posted
VIVItheG: Left to our interpretation
VIVItheG: they did no twisting, chris
CWCSonichu: that's not important to me right now.
CWCSonichu: back to Panda; do you have any concrete evidence to prove her to be a troll?
VIVItheG: no
CWCSonichu: okay, then.
VIVItheG: but i do have evidence that she is going to break up the relationship with you
CWCSonichu: what is your source?
VIVItheG: http://pandahalo.deviantart.com/
VIVItheG: That is the revelations of last night
CWCSonichu: let me look.
CWCSonichu: my response: Holy Crap.
CWCSonichu: :-(
VIVItheG: I have no proof that she is a troll, I'll admit that
VIVItheG: But it seems too damn likely that girls are just lining up at your feet
CWCSonichu: could you elaborate further in that statement?
VIVItheG: How many girls have wanted to start a relationship with you
VIVItheG: let's say as of one month ago
CWCSonichu: In Person, NO WOMEN HAVE "Lined Up at my Feet". On the internet and in recent phone calls, I guess so.
CWCSonichu: so, I can't fully agree with your statement.
VIVItheG: exactly chris
VIVItheG: no woman IN PERSON
VIVItheG: it's so easy to manipulate people over the internet
CWCSonichu: ...
VIVItheG: you can't start an honest relationship on the internet
VIVItheG: it's nearly impossible chris
VIVItheG: there are so many trolls out there right now
CWCSonichu: damn it.
CWCSonichu: this really grinds my gears.
VIVItheG: what
VIVItheG: what does
CWCSonichu: this whole thing right now.
CWCSonichu: what I'm hearing from you, what I've just read on Panda's entry; it grinds my gears.
VIVItheG: the truth is hard to face chris
CWCSonichu: *sigh*
CWCSonichu: And so, the world continues to play the world's favorite game of "Kick the Autistic". I'm gonna need all the luck I can get. *Game Over*
VIVItheG: Chris
VIVItheG: You have to realize something
VIVItheG: Sometimes we even forget you are autistic
VIVItheG: It is your person
VIVItheG: that is turning people away from you
VIVItheG: not your autism
CWCSonichu: my person?
VIVItheG: yes
VIVItheG: look
VIVItheG: I read the things you said with kawaiikitsune
CWCSonichu: and?
VIVItheG: She was a geniunely nice person
VIVItheG: she wasn't trying to troll you
CWCSonichu: yes she was.
VIVItheG: she was trying to help you
CWCSonichu: no she wasn't
VIVItheG: what do you mean no she wasn't
VIVItheG: explain that
CWCSonichu: a troll
VIVItheG: oh okay
VIVItheG: right
VIVItheG: She was trying to help you
VIVItheG: the only reason she wanted to forge any relationship with you was to help you
CWCSonichu: Well, I feel stupid.
VIVItheG: chris
VIVItheG: you can't just write that off as "i feel stupid"
VIVItheG: you really have to look at what you said to her
CWCSonichu: well, I do right now feel stupid. stupid and blind of obvious things.
VIVItheG: What do YOU think turned her away from you?
VIVItheG: I want to know what YOU think
VIVItheG: this is the only way I can help you
VIVItheG: If I tell you what I think, that won't help you
VIVItheG: because we can have completely different answers
CWCSonichu: let me read the words.
VIVItheG: http://kawaiikitsune123.deviantart.com/
CWCSonichu: that's what I'm looking at.
VIVItheG: alright.
CWCSonichu: after reading the messages from me, I'm not sure what to think.
CWCSonichu: or feel
VIVItheG: what?
VIVItheG: you sent them! you should know!
CWCSonichu: I just don't know; those were much earlier messages, and I've been under a lot of stress, moments of happiness, and whatnot. the new bunches of informations pushed a lot of thoughts from then out of my head.
CWCSonichu: *sigh*
VIVItheG: You have to watch what you say
VIVItheG: I mean no guy talks like that to a woman
VIVItheG: Ever
VIVItheG: I mean, you shouldn't even be on the topic of physical contact
VIVItheG: What do you want in a woman?
VIVItheG: Besides looks.
CWCSonichu: a nice, honest personality, ability to care about me genuinely, able to love me for me. I can't say other internal details off the top of my head.
VIVItheG: That's acceptable I guess
VIVItheG: I mean who wants a person that's not nice
VIVItheG: I mean those are fairly generic
VIVItheG: Everyone should look for someone who cares about them
VIVItheG: I mean that's given in a relationship
CWCSonichu: I am only Human, and a Virgin; I'M GOING TO MAKE A LOT OF TRIALS AND ERRORS that may sound unsound.
VIVItheG: How many years has it been chris
CWCSonichu: since when?
VIVItheG: Since you started your so called "love quest"
VIVItheG: it shouldn't even be called a love quest
CWCSonichu: my Sweetheart Search started the Summer of 2003; after I turned 21
VIVItheG: okay about 5 years
VIVItheG: How much progress do YOU think you've made and tell me why
CWCSonichu: greater than 5 years.
CWCSonichu: let me think...
CWCSonichu: it started with the realization of the infinitely-high boyfriend factor,
CWCSonichu: then I thought of using signs for attraction,
CWCSonichu: then trying to put the word as inexpensively as possible in newsletters, or whatever
CWCSonichu: ,
CWCSonichu: Met Megan,
CWCSonichu: Lost Megan,
CWCSonichu: Mary Lee Walsh and the Jerkops thwarted my Sweetheart Search numerous times, making it obvious that Virgina is for Virgins; NOT LOVERS,
CWCSonichu: Sonichu fanbase rose greatly; chatted with female fans,
CWCSonichu: built up a bit of confidence between Blanca, Sarah J and Panda, with wandering, learning heart,
CWCSonichu: CHAOS from the Trolls,
CWCSonichu: desperate for True, Honest Relationship,
VIVItheG: is that it?
VIVItheG: that doesn't answer
VIVItheG: how much progress do YOU THINK YOU'VE MADE
CWCSonichu: I WAS NOT FINISHED; I HAD TO CLEAN UP SOME CAT CRAP, AND SLIPPED AND MADE A MESS IN MY KITCHEN!
CWCSonichu: GOD!
VIVItheG: alright sorry
CWCSonichu signed off at 12:10:13 PM.
CWCSonichu signed on at 12:13:33 PM.
cwcsonichu: continuing,
cwcsonichu: felt somewhat desperate, and socially flushed, to have my first intercourse,
cwcsonichu: LEARNED A LOT,
cwcsonichu: I guess NO FREAKIN' PROGRESS! DAMN IT!
VIVItheG: exactly chris
VIVItheG: no progress
VIVItheG: What do YOU think you've been doing wrong.
cwcsonichu signed off at 12:17:18 PM.
cwcsonichu signed on at 12:20:16 PM.
cwcsonichu: are you there?
VIVItheG: what's happening?
VIVItheG: your internet unstable what?
cwcsonichu: banged my head on the dresser; had my cable modem and wi-fi router on the top of it; toppled over, causing connection chaos.
VIVItheG: anyway
cwcsonichu: *sigh*
VIVItheG: last thing i said was
VIVItheG: what
VIVItheG: righto
cwcsonichu: did you get what I typed?
VIVItheG: What do you think you're doing wrong
VIVItheG: yes i did
VIVItheG: and i've heard it before
VIVItheG: so it's nothing really new
VIVItheG: So I just want to know what you think you're doing wrong
cwcsonichu: I don't know; I'M A VIRGIN!
cwcsonichu: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW BETTER, RELATIONSHIP-WISE?
cwcsonichu: if I have not had EVEN MY FIRST DATE.
VIVItheG: Chris
VIVItheG: A lot of people have first dates
VIVItheG: do you think they know everything then?
cwcsonichu: maybe not, but the majority of them had their First Dates in their EARLY TEENAGE YEARS.
cwcsonichu: *sigh*
VIVItheG: and still
VIVItheG: some people don't
cwcsonichu: still in pain from cleaning up that crap.
VIVItheG: so there are still people who are nervous about their first date
cwcsonichu: and slipping on the floor, banging my head.
VIVItheG: sorry about that
VIVItheG: that is a lot of accidents in a short amount of time...
cwcsonichu: that's not your fault.
VIVItheG: anyway.
VIVItheG: What do you think went wrong with Megan
cwcsonichu: call me possibly clumsy.
VIVItheG: and I'll tell you what I think went wrong
cwcsonichu: In PROTEST against that ED page, right after I found it last November, I drew my FIRST Sexual Drawings, including that one between me and Megan; friggin' bastards twisted it to their evil, instead of leaving it alone for my PROTEST.
cwcsonichu: she saw it, and that was that; "I need my space."
cwcsonichu: I wish I had never found that friggin' page.
cwcsonichu: IN the first place.
VIVItheG: Chris, sadly that's not the answer i wanted to hear
VIVItheG: but first i'll address this
VIVItheG: You drew that picture
VIVItheG: It was your fault
VIVItheG: Not ED.
VIVItheG: You have to accept that.
cwcsonichu: I DID, LONG AGO.
cwcsonichu: I had to be a Protestor.
VIVItheG: well you seem to imply you blame ED in that answer above
cwcsonichu: HAD TO
VIVItheG: chris
VIVItheG: everytime
VIVItheG: you do something
VIVItheG: the page gets bigger
VIVItheG: do you know why
cwcsonichu: they basically monitor EVERY MOVE I MAKE.
VIVItheG: on the internet
VIVItheG: so do you know what you must do
cwcsonichu: get more social, but I AM STILL SOCIALLY SHY!
VIVItheG: get over it
VIVItheG: just get over it.
cwcsonichu: with my friggin' autism mental block, it's easier said than done.
VIVItheG: chris
VIVItheG: You are better off than most people with autism
VIVItheG: You're very lucky
VIVItheG: I know people with autism, they can hardly talk.
cwcsonichu: you don't think I already knew that?
VIVItheG: Think about what they go through
cwcsonichu: I've seen Rain Man
VIVItheG: exactly.
VIVItheG: So get over it.
VIVItheG: Now
VIVItheG: about megan
VIVItheG: the response I wanted to hear
VIVItheG: was that she explicitly said
VIVItheG: that she wanted to JUST BE FRIENDS
VIVItheG: and that should have been the end of it
VIVItheG: once a woman tells a man no, they have to respect that
VIVItheG: if the man keeps pressing on, then the woman will be irritated and then probably lose that friendship
cwcsonichu: I have my dreams that God gave to me, and I have to see my Crystal Weston Chandler be Born. But I need my Sweetheart first.
VIVItheG: what does that have to do
VIVItheG: with anything i just said
cwcsonichu: I DON'T KNOW; it's my half of the discussion; I can say anything that randomly pops up in my Random Access Memory.
VIVItheG: what
cwcsonichu: it's too random in my opinion.
VIVItheG: can you stop from doing that
VIVItheG: well you acknowledge that it is
VIVItheG: so maybe you can stop yourself
cwcsonichu: I lack self-confidence.
VIVItheG: what
VIVItheG: what does that have to do with stopping yourself from saying something you already know is "too random"
VIVItheG: and then this doesn't even have to do with megan
VIVItheG: and the fact that she just wanted to be friends
VIVItheG: god we are off on so many subjects now i can hardly keep track
cwcsonichu: Forget about Megan.
VIVItheG: That is some good advice i hope YOU will take
cwcsonichu: I can hardly keep track myself.
VIVItheG: to forget about megan.
cwcsonichu: I meant for you to stop talking about her.
VIVItheG: chris
VIVItheG: I want you
VIVItheG: to acknowledge
VIVItheG: that all you will be with her
VIVItheG: is just friends
VIVItheG: You need to find another person
VIVItheG: Go out into the world
VIVItheG: and look
cwcsonichu: I have acknowledged that a long time ago.
VIVItheG: Good.
VIVItheG: That is good.
cwcsonichu: I have been looking
VIVItheG: where
cwcsonichu: I"M JUST TOO DAMN SHY AND NOT SELF_FRIGGIN"_CONFIDENT
VIVItheG: BE MORE CONFIDENT
cwcsonichu: IN Charlottesville.
VIVItheG: well where exactly
VIVItheG: what places
cwcsonichu: that's easier said than done; i've said that before.
VIVItheG: single's bar
cwcsonichu: UVA
cwcsonichu: NO
cwcsonichu: !
VIVItheG: why not there
VIVItheG: that seems
VIVItheG: like a very good place
VIVItheG: in my opinion to start looking
VIVItheG: you know
cwcsonichu: smokey, drunk; turn-offs!!
cwcsonichu: too dark too.
VIVItheG: go during the day.
VIVItheG: there are bound to be other people like you
VIVItheG: who are looking
VIVItheG: you can't just write off a place
VIVItheG: because it "stereotypically"
VIVItheG: has those kinds of people
cwcsonichu: I GO TO THE UVA"S ALDERMANLIBRARY: VERY POPULATED OFTEN
VIVItheG: you don't know that
VIVItheG: what's uva
cwcsonichu: University Of Virginia.
VIVItheG: i'm just saying
VIVItheG: typically
VIVItheG: at a university
VIVItheG: that age range
VIVItheG: 18-23 ish
VIVItheG: i'm guessing
VIVItheG: maybe too young?
cwcsonichu: RIGHT IN MY ALLEY.
cwcsonichu: NO
cwcsonichu: I'm looking for 18-26
VIVItheG: and how do you look for women...in a library
cwcsonichu: there is a lounge.
cwcsonichu: in the library
cwcsonichu: and a coffee shop
cwcsonichu: you tell me
VIVItheG: well
VIVItheG: at my college
VIVItheG: in the library
cwcsonichu: it is a very popular place.
VIVItheG: people like to study
VIVItheG: that's what I do
VIVItheG: i don't go to a library
VIVItheG: thinking about getting a boyfriend
VIVItheG: okay
cwcsonichu: a lot of people go to the library looking for their sweetheart.
cwcsonichu: it's just a matter of being there at the right time.
cwcsonichu: and not being fucking autistic and shy!
cwcsonichu: I'm sorry.
cwcsonichu: I'm on edge right now.
VIVItheG: why are you apologizing?
VIVItheG: i'm trying to think of someway to explain this to you
VIVItheG: how many people have you seen
cwcsonichu: well, I just cursed for one thing, in a loud way.
cwcsonichu: a lot.
VIVItheG: "hook up" in the library
VIVItheG: on a completely stranger basis
cwcsonichu: a lot
cwcsonichu: a lot
VIVItheG: they haven't had previous classes together before
VIVItheG: how many is a lot
VIVItheG: How many haver YOU SEEN
cwcsonichu: in the years I've witnessed there, over 100 times
VIVItheG: and you can confirm
cwcsonichu: yes
VIVItheG: that those were all on complete basis
VIVItheG: of them not knowing each other previously
cwcsonichu: yes
cwcsonichu: I have a headache
VIVItheG: and then the relationship works out
VIVItheG: for them
cwcsonichu: yes
cwcsonichu: brb
VIVItheG: I don't believe that at all, I can't believe that.
VIVItheG: This is a library on a university
VIVItheG: it's not a place for people to just hook up
VIVItheG: i don't understand why you would go there
VIVItheG: you must feel out of place?
VIVItheG: don't you?
cwcsonichu: why can't you just say "okay" after I type in brb, so I can get an asprin, take a deep breath or something, which is the acronym for "be right back"?
cwcsonichu: *sigh*
cwcsonichu: *belch*
cwcsonichu: *from stress*
cwcsonichu: *and pain*
VIVItheG: because you will be back
VIVItheG: and you will read those
VIVItheG: that is why
VIVItheG: well i dont' know what you were gonna do okay
cwcsonichu: I was inklingly being sarcastic.
VIVItheG: that was terrible.
cwcsonichu: I feel terrible; phyically and mentally.
VIVItheG: why
VIVItheG: maybe i'm doing this wrong
VIVItheG: why do you feel terrible
cwcsonichu: I'm in pain, stress, heart-confused; how can I be more clear than that?
cwcsonichu: plus my headache.
VIVItheG: i think you are putting too much attachment
cwcsonichu: to what?
VIVItheG: to relationships
VIVItheG: that definitely won't work out
cwcsonichu: well, like I said, I don't know better, I am DUMB on the Relationship, Dating and all those subjects, except for the amount of educational porn I have watched, then I feel smarter about how I'd like my first time to go. But I desperately need a Dating Education Class, and High Schools don't even think of that in addition to their Sexual Education.
VIVItheG: dating education class
VIVItheG: does not exist
cwcsonichu: IT SHOULD.
VIVItheG: because it is different for every person
VIVItheG: you can't tailor it to a general group
VIVItheG: it's individual experiences
cwcsonichu: Sex Ed is good for date 3 or beyond, but what is it that has to be done before then?
cwcsonichu: that's why Dating Education IS REQUIRED DESPERIATELY.
VIVItheG: ...
VIVItheG: first off
VIVItheG: date 3 does not mean sex
VIVItheG: okay
VIVItheG: also
VIVItheG: in a relationship
VIVItheG: sex should be one of the last things
VIVItheG: first
VIVItheG: you got to know each other
VIVItheG: how are you lives going to be with each other
cwcsonichu: I already knew that.
VIVItheG: you don't seem to know that
VIVItheG: it's not like in 2 dates
VIVItheG: you will know everything about that person
cwcsonichu: you are not telepathic
VIVItheG: let's have sex.
VIVItheG: i know i'm not
VIVItheG: i'm just basing it off things you say
VIVItheG: that's all i've got to work with
VIVItheG: okay
cwcsonichu: shit my quotes.
VIVItheG: ...yes. what you say
VIVItheG: reflects who you are
cwcsonichu: well, I am a DUMB Frustrated Virgin, and I've never had a First Date, I'm 26, I lack self-confidence, the Boyfriend-Factor is infinitely-high, I fear rejection, I'm STRAIGHT, I'm High-Functionally Autistic; I should know A LOT BETTER, BUT I DON'T KNOW A THING on the Emotional Basics that is REQUIRED BEFOREHAND!
VIVItheG: don't call yourself dumb
VIVItheG: if you can't even believe in yourself
VIVItheG: then why bother with life
VIVItheG: secondly
VIVItheG: don't call yourself a virgin
VIVItheG: people don't need to know that
cwcsonichu: On the subjects, I don't know better, so I am DUMB ON THOSE SUBJECTS.
VIVItheG: well don't say that
VIVItheG: god
VIVItheG: what will people think
VIVItheG: if you call yourself dumb
VIVItheG: think about it
VIVItheG: what will they think about you
VIVItheG: that you are dumb
cwcsonichu: I'm not telepathic myself.
VIVItheG: and not worth their time
VIVItheG: if I said I was dumb
VIVItheG: what would you think
VIVItheG: that i was dumb
VIVItheG: exactly come on
cwcsonichu: my head is blank.
cwcsonichu: right now.
cwcsonichu: so I can't come up with a sound answer.
VIVItheG: I am an idiot.
cwcsonichu: no, you're not.
VIVItheG: okay i'll do this a different way
VIVItheG: I like ponies.
VIVItheG: What does that say about me.
cwcsonichu: that's fine, so do I.
VIVItheG: okay uhm
VIVItheG: This isn't going to work
VIVItheG: if we have prior knowledge of each other
VIVItheG: Whatever you say to a person
VIVItheG: that you've just met
VIVItheG: that is what they're going to think
VIVItheG: they have no prior knowledge of anything else
cwcsonichu: mostly, I do not claim to know what other people are going to think about me and what I say, so I just let them be.
VIVItheG: no
VIVItheG: if you talk to them
VIVItheG: and introduce yourself
VIVItheG: with stuff
VIVItheG: that's what they're going to think
VIVItheG: so calling yourself dumb
VIVItheG: is not going to help
cwcsonichu: everybody knows that.
cwcsonichu: I know that.
VIVItheG: then WHY do YOU call yourself dumb
VIVItheG: if you already know that
cwcsonichu: because my mind is blank, and I feel dumb right now.
VIVItheG: okay
VIVItheG: if you were introducing yourself to a girl right now
VIVItheG: what would you say
VIVItheG: first time
VIVItheG: they know nothing about you
VIVItheG: just first time
cwcsonichu: I'd probably freeze up, because that often happens to me, even in rehearsals at home, between my LEGO figurine and a woman LEGO figurine; I'd constantly freeze up.
VIVItheG: Okay
VIVItheG: pretend you wouldn't freeze up
VIVItheG: what would you say
cwcsonichu: "Hello"
cwcsonichu: then my mind would freeze up.
VIVItheG: "so what are you doing here"
cwcsonichu: where's here?
VIVItheG: pretend it's the library okay
cwcsonichu: ida know..."hanging around"
VIVItheG: "what do you do?"
cwcsonichu: "I draw comics"
VIVItheG: "interesting, what are they about"
cwcsonichu: "stories of my electric-hedgehogs, Sonichu and Rosechu; some stories about me."
VIVItheG: i can already tell
VIVItheG: that this is going nowhere
VIVItheG: you know anna right
VIVItheG: and that blog
VIVItheG: i don't remember the details
VIVItheG: but you talked to her about your sonichu and whatnot
cwcsonichu: I Personally Know Anna McLerran
VIVItheG: yes i know
VIVItheG: to be perfectly honest
VIVItheG: to a woman
VIVItheG: looking for a man
VIVItheG: to be with for the rest of her life
VIVItheG: someone who draws comics about childish things
VIVItheG: do you see where i'm coming from
cwcsonichu: no, I don't
VIVItheG: When a woman looks for maturity
VIVItheG: in a man
VIVItheG: let's put it that way
VIVItheG: maturity
cwcsonichu: ok
VIVItheG: comics about electric hedgehogs whatever
VIVItheG: based off children's video games
VIVItheG: you may not think they are for children
VIVItheG: but for a majority of the people in this world
VIVItheG: they are
cwcsonichu: they're not just for children.
cwcsonichu: I disagree.
VIVItheG: You may disagree
VIVItheG: but for a majority of the people
VIVItheG: who live
VIVItheG: in the united states
VIVItheG: they are seen as children's video games
VIVItheG: and it's okay if you still play them
VIVItheG: but to draw comics involving made up electric hedgehog pokemon
cwcsonichu: what if I said that I draw sex pictures? would that make a difference?
VIVItheG: are you being...sarcastic
cwcsonichu: no, I'm being serious.
VIVItheG: Think about it
VIVItheG: for a second
cwcsonichu: instead of cartoons, I draw sex pictures; would that make a difference of opinion?
VIVItheG: Yes
VIVItheG: It would be disturbing
cwcsonichu: obviously.
VIVItheG: If you know that
VIVItheG: why would you say that
cwcsonichu: to the naked, unopen mind.
VIVItheG: exactly
VIVItheG: so why would you even bring up the point in the first place
cwcsonichu: to make a point; you say maturity; honest intercourse is mature.
VIVItheG: that is not mature
VIVItheG: well okay
VIVItheG: that is
VIVItheG: but it's now being taken in a completely different way
VIVItheG: now it's disturbing
VIVItheG: which is equally as bad
VIVItheG: as being immature
VIVItheG: i have to go give my sister a ride, i'll be back in 15 minutes
VIVItheG: i want you to think about what you've just said
VIVItheG: and tell me why you said those things
cwcsonichu signed off at 1:16:40 PM.
cwcsonichu signed on at 1:16:43 PM.
cwcsonichu: okay, what would you recommend that I say that would make me sound "mature"? Maturity is a joke; NOBODY REALLY GROWS UP.
cwcsonichu signed off at 1:18:14 PM.
cwcsonichu: are you thinking?
cwcsonichu signed on at 1:18:56 PM.
cwcsonichu: please respond
cwcsonichu: hello?
cwcsonichu signed off at 1:23:28 PM.
cwcsonichu signed on at 1:26:09 PM.
cwcsonichu: Hey, Vivian.
cwcsonichu: I'll stay here for a while longer.
VIVItheG: alright
cwcsonichu: oh, good, you're back.
VIVItheG: yeah i said i had to drop my sister off somewhere
cwcsonichu: oh, okay.
cwcsonichu: did you think about what I said last.
VIVItheG: let's put it this way
VIVItheG: what do you look for in a woman
VIVItheG: would you want her to like childish things
cwcsonichu: that's an optional feature.
VIVItheG: okay i got it
VIVItheG: why would a 26 year old who doesn't attend that university be in a library
cwcsonichu: but in a nutshell, I'm looking for an 18-26-year old, Boyfriend-free, caring , smoke-free, non-alcholic white woman to make into a sweetheart from the ground-up
VIVItheG: it seems out of place
VIVItheG: for most women
VIVItheG: i would say
cwcsonichu: a lot I guess.
VIVItheG: so why would you be in a library
VIVItheG: why
VIVItheG: tell me why
cwcsonichu: I would be at Fashion Square instead, but the Manajerk, Scottpalazzo, there basically permanently banned me from there.
cwcsonichu: and Wal-Mart and Target were no-good.
VIVItheG: well i'm not talking about those places
VIVItheG: well actually wait
VIVItheG: why were you banned
VIVItheG: what did you do
VIVItheG: that's probably a better question
cwcsonichu: and UVA's Alderman Library is a lot better than a singles bar.
VIVItheG: how do you konw
VIVItheG: know
cwcsonichu: they just didn't like me hanging around there; they're all a bunch of jerks.
cwcsonichu: basic instinct.
cwcsonichu: so, I wasn't spending money there; what should they care?
VIVItheG: you're withholding information
VIVItheG: you must have done something
VIVItheG: to draw attention to yourself
cwcsonichu: specifically, I was NOT TOTALLY BANNED, but I can only be there with one of my parents.
cwcsonichu: the situation with Hanna.
cwcsonichu: as read in the comic; it was the anguished cry.
cwcsonichu: so I was litteraly loud; big whoop; those jerks still hated my guts.
VIVItheG: well, that does draw attention
cwcsonichu: like a lot of men in this state.
VIVItheG: and distract people who are trying to concetrate
VIVItheG: on their job/buying stuff
VIVItheG: you don't do that kind of thing in public
VIVItheG: which is why you got kicked out
VIVItheG: YOU may think it was just a loud cry
cwcsonichu: well, it was called for; my heart was toyed with.
VIVItheG: but OTHERS may think it was a distraction
VIVItheG: what would OTHER PEOPLE around the area think
cwcsonichu: probably that somebody got Seriously Hurt, which was WHAT DID HAPPEN.
VIVItheG: maybe seriously hurt physically
cwcsonichu: I was the victim.
cwcsonichu: the physicallity; my heart.
VIVItheG: no
VIVItheG: that is not physically
VIVItheG: losing an arm is physically
cwcsonichu: getting an emotional stab to the heart is physical.
VIVItheG: to others
VIVItheG: it just looks like someone yelling nooo
VIVItheG: for no apparent reason
cwcsonichu: it was still called for.
VIVItheG: no it wasn't
cwcsonichu: but forget about that.
VIVItheG: you have to realize
VIVItheG: that your behavior
VIVItheG: is not suitable for the public
VIVItheG: you have to change yourself
cwcsonichu: that was years ago that happened.
VIVItheG: still
VIVItheG: you don't seem to recognize why that was wrong
VIVItheG: for you, maybe it was right, but you have to consider the other people
cwcsonichu: I DID RECOGNIZE.
VIVItheG:
cwcsonichu: they just didn't like me hanging around there; they're all a bunch of jerks.
VIVItheG: You seem to blame them
VIVItheG: not yourself
cwcsonichu: the other people didn't have their heart played with terribly.
VIVItheG: i mean you weren't suspicious at all?
VIVItheG: people just don't go up to another preson and say I need a boyfriend
VIVItheG: that's not how it works
cwcsonichu: REWIND; I, myself, NEED a Girlfriend.
VIVItheG: yes
VIVItheG: But you didn't think twice
VIVItheG: about someone coming up to you out of the blue
cwcsonichu: I was desperate then.
cwcsonichu: as well.
cwcsonichu: and I still didn't know better.
cwcsonichu: I am a mess.
cwcsonichu: a mess of issues.
VIVItheG: yes
VIVItheG: you need to see a professional
VIVItheG: i can't help you
VIVItheG: i've realized that now
VIVItheG: you need to seek professional help
VIVItheG: ask your parents
VIVItheG: i'm sure they will help you with that
cwcsonichu: I have seen a psyciatrist; no help. and my parents are old; still no help.
VIVItheG: no
VIVItheG: i mean they can most likely help you
VIVItheG: find a professional
VIVItheG: i mean
cwcsonichu: a professional what?
VIVItheG: therapist
VIVItheG: someone
VIVItheG: who helps people deal with their problems
cwcsonichu: therapist = Psyciatrist.
VIVItheG: okay sure
VIVItheG: just look for one
VIVItheG: you have a new set of problems
VIVItheG: maybe looking for one now
VIVItheG: will be the best choice
VIVItheG: because i honestly can't help you
VIVItheG: i've tried for 3 hours now
VIVItheG: and it's like fighting a wall
VIVItheG: i can't beat the wall no matter how hard i try
cwcsonichu: eventually, you make a dent.
VIVItheG: yes
VIVItheG: but with the help
VIVItheG: of someone else
VIVItheG: look for a therapist, psyciatrist
VIVItheG: whatever
VIVItheG: just do it
VIVItheG: trust me
VIVItheG: you may not think they help
VIVItheG: but at least you tried looking for help
VIVItheG: finding a girlfriend is the least of your problems
VIVItheG: you have more issues to deal with
cwcsonichu: yes I did.
VIVItheG: before you can even begin to i don't know
VIVItheG: just
VIVItheG: a job maybe
VIVItheG: school maybe
VIVItheG: something
cwcsonichu: a therapist costs money; what I really need is a close gal-pal.
VIVItheG: you seem to have plenty of money
VIVItheG: the government gives you mony
VIVItheG: ey
VIVItheG: money
VIVItheG: i can type i swear
VIVItheG: you seem to have plenty
VIVItheG: use it for something more than just whatever you normally spend it on
cwcsonichu: I am not Mr. Joe Millionaire.
VIVItheG: get some help
VIVItheG: but you seem to have a lot of shit in your room
VIVItheG: sell some of that
cwcsonichu: I have bills.
cwcsonichu: I'm not sellin'
VIVItheG: why
VIVItheG: what is more important
VIVItheG: those things
VIVItheG: or mental help
cwcsonichu: I don't want to.
VIVItheG: You have to let go chris
VIVItheG: those things shouldn't mean such
VIVItheG: a attachment
VIVItheG: material goods
VIVItheG: is not something that brings happiness
VIVItheG: i know this
cwcsonichu: you don't think I didn't know that either.
VIVItheG: then why won't you sell them
cwcsonichu: I just don't want to.
VIVItheG: why
cwcsonichu: and I don't need to.
VIVItheG: that's not a good reason
VIVItheG: because
VIVItheG: you apparently
VIVItheG: don't have money
VIVItheG: so get some
VIVItheG: get some help
cwcsonichu: I don't need money to get help.
VIVItheG: what kind of help are you thinking of
cwcsonichu: and I don't need a professional.
VIVItheG: Yes you do
VIVItheG: Yes you do chris
cwcsonichu: I have the people of my church.
VIVItheG: you already got kicked out of one church
VIVItheG: i mean
VIVItheG: how are they going to help
cwcsonichu: my CURRENT church can help me a LOT better than any "professional"
VIVItheG: and how have they helped
VIVItheG: so far
VIVItheG: chris
cwcsonichu: because God and Jesus supports them as well.
VIVItheG: and how will god and jesus help you
cwcsonichu: they guide a lot of people.
VIVItheG: chris
VIVItheG: do you think god is helping you right now
VIVItheG: sending all these trolls after you
VIVItheG: sending all these failed relatioinships after you
cwcsonichu: in a way, yes.
VIVItheG: ...really.
cwcsonichu: he is helping me.
cwcsonichu: have you read the bible?
VIVItheG: he seems to just be making your life worse.
VIVItheG: no.
cwcsonichu: go read it, or join a church.
VIVItheG: why
cwcsonichu: so you can learn for yourself.
cwcsonichu: the lessons behind God's will.
VIVItheG: do you think god will help you
VIVItheG: eventually
cwcsonichu: yes
VIVItheG: how do you think so
VIVItheG: In what way
cwcsonichu: I just do.
VIVItheG: okay then
VIVItheG: come back to me in 3 years
VIVItheG: and tell me that alright.
cwcsonichu: why 3 years?
VIVItheG: because that is how long
VIVItheG: i believe you will realize
VIVItheG: that god is not going to help you
VIVItheG: in that amount of time
VIVItheG: you will be much worse off than you are now
VIVItheG: that is what i believe
cwcsonichu: what are you, an athiest?
VIVItheG: daoist
cwcsonichu: what is that?
VIVItheG: my sect
cwcsonichu: okay.
VIVItheG: believes in principles
cwcsonichu: I see.
VIVItheG: of detachment from material goods
VIVItheG: the way of being able to live life through non-action
VIVItheG: which means that you should not do anything rash
VIVItheG: unless you wish your life to be a living hell
cwcsonichu: I see.
VIVItheG: the believe in that you should be an active person
cwcsonichu: I am
VIVItheG: and help others
cwcsonichu: I do
VIVItheG: and what is your problem with atheiests
cwcsonichu: I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus.
VIVItheG: so what?
VIVItheG: let them respect whatever they choose to believe in
VIVItheG: there are so many religions in this world
VIVItheG: okay but let's not talk about that
VIVItheG: i'm here to try to help you
VIVItheG: and i want you
VIVItheG: to seek some professional help
VIVItheG: god appears in abstract ways
VIVItheG: but i want you to seek some concrete help
VIVItheG: from another person
VIVItheG: please
VIVItheG: i beg of you man
cwcsonichu: I will consider it.
VIVItheG: please don't just consider it, please do it.